var intNoOfLinks=5; var strContent=new Array(); var c=1; strContent[c++]=new Array("CEO", //Title "A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything! "
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.
The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!"", // Joke content "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Blonde", "A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."
"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde."
Well I'll get the pilot says the steward.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"
The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Doctor", "Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Lawyer", "A dog ran into a butcher's shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Americans", "The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.
The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering. After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers, and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles!
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Definitions", "School:A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Question Answers", "Q: What causes the tides?
A: The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon all water tends to flow 2wards the moon bcuz ther is no water on the moon and the nature abhors a vaccum i forget where the sun joins in thia fight.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reach puperty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks 4ward 2 his adultery.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines on the leaves and make them perspire.

Q: Explain the process by which water can be made safe to drink?
A: Filteration makes water safe to drink bcuz it removes large pollutants like grit sand DEAD SHEEP and CANOEISTS

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things 4 keeping the carpet still on the stairs.

Q: How can u delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in a cow.

Q: Give an example of fungus wat is there chacteristic feature.
A: Mushrooms ! they grow in damp places so they look like umbrellas.

Q: What is a thermalk illness?
A: When u r sick at an airport.

Q: What is an turbine?
A: Something an arab wears.

Q: Name the 4 seasons?
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("No bad habits", "Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him.
The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money. Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is Really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver". The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone". As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you". The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Phone", "A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Who is smarter???", "Who is clever?
Teacher or Student??????????
One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night and Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name.........................(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?...............(98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!
", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Lawyer", "A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Upside down", "When the antenna of my small television in India broke, I looked up the relevant part's number in the manual provided by the company and wrote to them asking for a replacement.
When the package arrived, I was furious to see that they had sent Part No 699 when I had actually asked them for No 669. I shot off an angry missive to their Public Relations Dept.
Their reply: Turn it upside-down.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Sales technique", "A newsboy was standing at the corner with a stack of papers yelling "read it all 50 people swindled 50 people swindled.
A curious man walked over bought a paper and checked the front page. What he saw was the yeserdays paper the man said "Hey this is an old paper where is the story bout the big swindle"
The news boy ignored him and went on calling out "READ ALL BOUT IT 51 PEOPLE SWINDLED"", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Blonde", "A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Marital Counseling", "A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.
She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Moses Meets Dubya", "George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"
Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Food vs Money", "Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant. Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odours emanating from the next door restaurant's kitchen.

One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why.
The manager replied, "You're enjoying my food, so you should pay for it."
Harry refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the story.
They said, "Every day, this man comes and sits near our kitchen and visibly smells our food whilst eating his. We are obviously adding value to his cheap food and we deserve to be recompensed for it."
The judge then asked Harry, "And what do you have to say about that?"
Harry said nothing but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled around the coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What's the meaning of that?"
Harry replied, "I am paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Amitabh Bachchan", "is known as one of Bollywood's best actors. However this talented actor himself idolised Bhagwan Dada, an actor and comedian from yesteryears. Big B would copy Bhagwan Dada's style of dancing and even admitted that for him Bhagwan Dada's acting was inspirational. Guess Bhagwan Dada was literally a Bhagwan for Amitabh Bachchan.", "
"); strContent[c++]=new Array("Physics Saves Lives", "A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school.&"", "
");