Director: Ajay Chandhok

Cast: Arshad Warsi, Ashish Choudhury, Yash Tonk, Sheetal Menon, Arti Chabria, Udita Goswami and Shakti Kapoor. Also two Alsatians named Ricky and Haunting.

Rating: 0.5/5

Kisse Pyaar Karoon has so many things going wrong for it that it is difficult to pick out just one. It's no wonder then that I saw most people walk out of the theatre at interval - which also took ages to arrive!

Arshad Warsi is into pornography, Yash Tonk isn’t interested in girls but he isn’t gay and Ashish Choudhury loves Arti Chabria. Usually people do group hugs when they are happy, but our heroes also have a vulgar pelvic thrust that went out in the 80s to celebrate!

When Ashish doesn’t get Arti, he is heartbroken and so his friends hook him up with hottie-in-a-tankini Udita Goswami. When Ashish gets it on with Udita, he forgets his friends as Goswami doesn’t like his friends who have no class. So they bring in a prostitute, Chameli/Julie (Sheetal Menon) for help. We also figure out that hottie Udita is linked to the underworld Don, AK47 played by a garish and loud Shakti Kapoor. Some more senseless madness ensues which is an insult to films and the viewer’s time and patience.

Arshad Warsi is the best of the lot, though he probably signed the movie before he got his ‘Circuit’ break and then was obliged to complete it. Yash’s expressions are monkey-like. Ashish looks like he hasn’t had a bath in days. Our heroes think they are Akash, Sam and Sid from Dil Chahta Hai. That is why there is a song with the same steps and set as Koi Kahe.

The dialogues are downright derogatory to women. “Agar doodh milta hai market mein toh bhes kyun chahiye?”, “You need a substitute or prostitute!” There are also obvious references to masturbation! Also who shoots at Water Kingdom and Velocity anymore? The background score and sound mixing gives you a headache. Resul Pokutty should conduct workshops or open a training school in sound mixing.

All in all Kisse Pyaar Karoon makes you want to walk out of the theatre simply because you are so sure you will die waiting for the film to end. So when the interval arrives you want to escape before the movie kills you!